Lost in a sea of emotion tangled up in sea weed struggling to escape the thought of being lonesome for the quest of my life time..
Surrounded by chaos confusion bottles my mind tears occupy the space within my eyes..
Seeking comfort within ones arms but excepting emptiness without a bit of hesitation or a tad bit of doubtfulness.
Spinning around in a sea or ovals as opposed to the familiar circles I once spun..
wondering where this large oblong shape has come from what part of my life stretched into this unfirmilar shape? Is it a representation of how unfamiliar the girl in the mirror is or is it a symbol of the new changes that entered into that girls life?
A new u? A new me? A new shape? A new meaning? A new question with a new answer ...
Emotion -- it rules the body takes control and the after effects make the mind wander.. Leaving you desperately taunted at the thought of being unfamiliar with what's familiar around you.. Taunted at what emotions are trying to escape the facade in which ur covering ur life in unknowingly.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
for you little bro
Nobody knows the feeling // the emptyness in ya heart ..
i carry a smile even though im broken in two and deeply missing you...
Losing ya partner in crime the one whom i was introduced to as my brother at just 4yrs old i became a big sister.... An Angels sister....
Here it is close to the 2yr period of your wings being granted your stresses being washed away and you than entered Heavens Gates... I stood by ya side feeling like i failed you but than i remember our good times the smiles laughs jokes and fights.... The times when you helped me sneak into the house late at night to than tell on me the next morning lol....i feel as if i dont have enough memories because our.time was cut short but rememberinf everything happens for a reason.. I remember you saying Zays gona be just like you at times he is just like you those moments wash away the pain away dries my tears and makes my frown into a huge smile.
Feeling like your gone but remebering your spirit lives on ... becoming aware that at times your still here reasures me your still protecting me...
i carry a smile even though im broken in two and deeply missing you...
Losing ya partner in crime the one whom i was introduced to as my brother at just 4yrs old i became a big sister.... An Angels sister....
Here it is close to the 2yr period of your wings being granted your stresses being washed away and you than entered Heavens Gates... I stood by ya side feeling like i failed you but than i remember our good times the smiles laughs jokes and fights.... The times when you helped me sneak into the house late at night to than tell on me the next morning lol....i feel as if i dont have enough memories because our.time was cut short but rememberinf everything happens for a reason.. I remember you saying Zays gona be just like you at times he is just like you those moments wash away the pain away dries my tears and makes my frown into a huge smile.
Feeling like your gone but remebering your spirit lives on ... becoming aware that at times your still here reasures me your still protecting me...
1989 i became Angel's Sister
2010 i became An Angel's Sister
Ill forever be apart of -Angel-
2010 i became An Angel's Sister
Ill forever be apart of -Angel-
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Sharing Custody.
Okay so here's the thing for 4 years I have been a single mom to my 4 year old son. I have provided everything for him since the very beginning with no help from his father. I knew that the day would come where his dad will have to be apart of his life and I would potentially have to share custody of my son. Never once did I think it would be this hard or hurt so bad. How do I go from being Super Mom to sharing the one person who has been by my side and built be into the strong woman I am today? I know its whats best for him and I do accept the fact that he needs his dad in his life but the hardest part is allowing and letting go. My son has seen me at my weakest and has helped me along the way, hes never gave up on me and I have never gave up on him. He has become my best friend and the sunshine to my day thinking that now I will have to share him with dad makes me sad knowing that I have to hurts more. How do you make the transition easy? Can it be easy when theres tension from the "wife"? I know its going to be a bumpy hard ride and I'm willing to take it but how many bumps will you be able to go over without the shocks breaking? Will things change from here on out? Will my son still think of me as his "Super Hero" or will I be replaced by his dads wife? I guess I'm just Wishing for the best and just preparing for the worst ..... only hoping that good things come out of this.
I was raised by my mom and my dad never wanted part in raising me so I know how important it is to have both parents in your life Its all about letting go at this point and learning to share and be civil. My heartaches, I only hope everything falls into place and my son never stops smiling.
I must now learn to share the one thing I've held closest to my heart and not hold any type of grudges ....
I was raised by my mom and my dad never wanted part in raising me so I know how important it is to have both parents in your life Its all about letting go at this point and learning to share and be civil. My heartaches, I only hope everything falls into place and my son never stops smiling.
I must now learn to share the one thing I've held closest to my heart and not hold any type of grudges ....
About my Blogging.
ABOUT MY BLOGGING
I am here to share my blogs with the world. I plan on being as random and wild as I can be; while sharing some of my interests and issues along with whatever issues and interests I help my friends with.
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