Standing Alone

Learning to let go. Letting go of all toxic things within your life. Letting go of all the pain, the unhappiness, tears, and old habits. Letting go of friendships that you thought would last a lifetime. Letting go of the comfort zone that swallows up our dreams; leaving you feeling hopeless. Letting go of the fears that hold you back from the unknown.

Perhaps we will wait until we get to that bridge in order to cross it. How can we cross it when we are nowhere near it? Perhaps we have to learn to fully stand on our own two feet before we are able to cross that bridge. What if that bridge can only hold your weight?

Learning to listen before we speak. Sit in silence. Listen to the lesson. The words are being spoken to you for a reason; do not miss the lesson because you’re anxious to speak. Instead of judging others for the way in which they have sinned; I have learned from the sins of others. Not one person has a full grasp on life; so who is anyone to judge. Someone will always have an opinion and they will always have something to say regardless because gossip is something that some thrive for. Let it go.

Fear holds us back from letting go. It is scary to think about taking that leap & not knowing if you are going to fly or fall flat on your face. It is easier to stay within our comfort zone because it is something that we are familiar with. Our comfort zone leads us to feel content. We begin to believe “this is the best it’s going to get” when in reality we do not know what the best is if we have never left our comfort zone and explored the unknown. Perhaps we spend too much time pleasing others that we lose focus of the most important thing; which is ourselves.

It seemed like every time I gained something in life I lost something else that was just as important. I knew that whatever didn’t kill me only made me stronger; however why does obtaining this much strength hurt so damn bad. I look around & I stand all alone. Those whom I have given my whole heart too are gone, those whom stated they will always have my back have faded into the deep fog, where has everyone gone? Various relationships have come & gone; I guess I kind of don’t do well with those sort of things.

Perhaps I expect too much, other times I set myself up. Perhaps I second doubt myself on things when I know I shouldn’t… I try to see the good in all situations, and sometime there’s simply just so much “bad” that it will never allow you to see the “good,” at that point we must allow ourselves to Let it Go.

It’s a crazy sea of emotions, I don’t take losing very lightly regardless of what it is. I would prefer to go hard or go home as my younger brother always embedded in me. He had more of a grasp on the world then I did. He always warned me about friendships, relationship, and just things in general, I was always more reserved and afraid of showing my true colors, because I always got stones thrown at me. Be yourself is what they say, then when you are, they talk about you and batter your ego. Take your stripes and wear them proudly. I spent most my nights lying in bed crying, I spent many other nights asking God why me? I never understood why I felt more pain then joy. I just wanted to give up time and time again what’s the point if no one cares why should I? Well that was the attitude got me lost in my own fog.

Sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order find ourselves again. I began to wipe my own tears, I cheered myself on, patted my own self on the back, and began to love myself. It sounds so cliché; but I never really loved myself I always wanted someone else to do it and got upset when they didn’t fit the role. I wanted voiceless people in my life to cheer for me when it was clearly impossible, I am the loudest person in my life and no one can top me in my own race. I pat myself on the back daily because you know what I don’t need anyone else telling me I did a good job, I know I’m doing a damn good job daily. When I began to love myself things stated to change, when I started believing in myself like my son believes in me things started to fall in place and make more sense.

When we Let Go. We Learn to Stand Alone.

Lasagna Recipes.

One of our favorites around my home LASAGNA!

Yes you can make it in a variety of different healthy, calorie friendly ways. The best part is that you can also freeze the leftovers and have them for another time. Just microwave it up and bam dinner is ready!

Depending on your grocery store you can find different noodles that you can use.
Whole Wheat,  Gluten Free, or Veggie pasta are usually the ones I use depending on which ones I can find. Gluten Free & Veggie are 2 that I try to find first. Vegetable pasta is not what it sounds like; it's actually very flavorful and calorie friendly!!


If you want to use Meat in your lasagna choose Lean Meat; such as Lean Turkey and just season it up with Salt Less seasoning and crushed garlic if you want to take the turkey flavor out (for those who do not like the taste). I also like to add peppers, and onions into my meat mix.

If you want to make a Vegetable lasagna think about all of the vegetables you can add in and just chop them up into reasonable sizes, pan cook them for a few minutes then take them out and they will finish cooking in the oven once you layer them up just as you would in a regular lasagna.

Personally I like to use eggplant, zucchini, spinach, tomatoes, peppers, onions, mushrooms, cauliflower, and broccoli. You can add different vegetables to each level or mix them all up and layer it that way. The choice is yours. I also like to add some crushed garlic on my veggies just for added flavor.


You can also use spinach with ricotta cheese as a layer with a meat lasagna or a veggie one.
When it comes to cheese I like to use a low or reduced in far, or that are part skim milk. So I choose Parmesan & grated Romano along with Part Skim Mozzarella cheese. You can use whatever cheese you want but we love cheese in my house so I use all 3.


I spend a lot of time in the sauce section comparing different sauces. All pasta sauce has different ingredients, some are high in sodium, while others are full of sugar. Just because the label says "Heart Smart, Low fat, Sodium free or Whole Grain" does not mean there's truth to it. You must read the label to ensure that its factual. Many times the labels are made to grab your attention with healthy friendly words and they hide the bad things on the back under ingredients. I usually grab the one that has the least sodium, sugar, and calories. I would name off brands but it actually all depends on the dish I am making and what kind of sauce is in the stores on that day. There's always a new brand of sauce out so you will usually find me in the supermarket holding several pasta sauces comparing everything before making my selection.


I did not add how much of anything I put in because it really all depends on how you like your lasagna. Basically this is what I look for and what I add to my different lasagna combinations. I just try to gear it to be healthy and calorie friendly.

Grocery Shopping & the 80/20 Rule

All I heard over and over again beginning my journey was all about the 80/20 rule. I didn't think it was true nor did I want to accept it because I LOVED FOOD. Well I still do love food but have learned to love myself more as opposed to loving food more than myself. I can not let my emotions take over and eat my feelings away. I can not eat in order to hide any pain and food can not be my best friend or happiness.

I will not live to eat. I will eat to live.

80% of the hard work happens in the kitchen. I have to cook healthy meals. I also have to purchase the healthy food. I also have to learn to prep those meals in calorie friendly ways. I have to also get my family on board with the changes and not allow them to have me back track into old routines and ways. Change is something that is not comfortable but the pain of being overweight is something that feels far worse than actually changing for the best. 

Learning what areas to avoid in the grocery store was a first step for me. Why pass by the bakery section if I know they will have something I want but I should not have just because I see it and now want it. With my List at hand I go into the grocery and I enter only the outskirts of it what does that mean? I do not enter into all of the middle aisles because the middle aisles only have boxed items and those are all processed foods with loads of bad things that we should not be eating.

Read those Labels!!

Just because something says something it does not mean it is factual; flip that product over and begin to read what is inside and see if there are any nutritional value to that product. Do not depend on the company to be 100% honest with you when they are expecting you to purchase their item. Although organic is a little more money it actually lasts longer and it will give us the vitamins and nutrients that our body needs for fuel and energy.

Where does your food come from?

Something I never considered or cared about because I didn't think it mattered. Truth is many of our foods come from big companies that take the easy way out. That means that they can add things to our food to make it bigger, fuller, or plumper which sounds good but not if toxic chemicals are the way they are doing this. If your meat comes from another Country ( it will say where it's from on the package)  I am not quite sure that is the best choice either. Personally for me I like all of my produce and meat to come from local farms that Grass Feed their animals and do not contain any pesticides or additives. You are what you eat; so you want to make sure what you're eating is actually what you think it is. 

Healthy does not mean bland & tasteless.

Healthy recipes are all about learning how to make the flavors pop because I mean we all love the flavor of food. I was never one to add salt to my dishes but I did realize that many things contain
large amounts of sodium that are unhealthy for us and cause bloating! Bloating is never fun and it does not look or make us feel good. Salt free seasoning is the way to go along with fresh produce such as garlic, peppers, and onions always help kick the meal up several notches and its also kid approved by my little one.

Raised in a traditional Puerto Rican household we tend to eat lot's of yummy food that are not so healthy.Who said healthy can not be tasty. I have learned to create all of my favorite meals into healthier alternatives that are just as good without all the calories. Is it more work yes but taking out the time to meal prep is important because if we fail to plan we plan to fail. Buy your produce cut it up, use it and whatever you do not use Freeze it for another time. Eating healthy does not mean that you have to eat salads all day. Whatever I crave I eat because I know that I am able too. Do not restrict yourself from things because it will only cause you to binge/ feast later. 

20% of the work is done doing activities that help us get our heart rate up and our sweat flowing. Sweat is just your fat crying; so let it cry! I will not say you have to hit the gym every day. I have learned to make everything into a workout. I want to make sure that I am burning as many calories a day as I can and if that means dancing in my room for 15 minutes to my favorite tunes, or doing some yoga the fact of the matter was that I am doing things I was not doing prior. You have to find fitness related things that will fit into your schedule and that are easy to maintain.

I began doing things that I did not think made a big difference but totally did. I started off by parking my car further away from the store. If I was not shopping for many items I forced myself to carry the basket and get a arm workout in as I carried it around. Also it starts to get heavy so you avoid filling it with unneeded items. Take the stairs whenever you can and stretch those legs! Not only are the stairs great for increasing your hear rate but they tone your legs and helps the booty.

My excuse for a long time was that I did not have a workout buddy who was dedicated on working out. Soon I realized I only needed myself because I was dedicated to make the change that I wanted and needed badly. I later learned I did not actually like working out with others because it didn't get the job done as good as I did on my own. I did not want to chat it up at the gym. I was there to do work and I preferred to go whenever I got the urge even if that meant hitting the gym 2 times a day for hours at a time.

YOGA

Often times the question arises as to why I even do Yoga and what the benefits are. 

I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be able to take on Yoga and enjoy it. Having severe back troubles I was determined to find a holistic approach to tackle the back pain. I do not like pharmaceutical's and I was determined to not put any of those man-made toxic chemicals into my body. Can I actually cure my horrid back pain naturally? Of course I can I mean what did people do centuries ago without pharmaceuticals?

I did some research and came across Yoga!

I was a little skeptical at first because my negative thinking told me, "Only small slender females are the only ones able to do this crap." However after some further research I learned its all about your mental strength and ability to tackle the unknown. I did not know what the heck Yoga entailed and I also did not know if I could or couldn't do it but I was already setting myself up for failure with my negative talk. I have seen people from all shapes and sizes engage in Yoga because if you want something nothing will stop you from attaining your wants and desires. Only we can hold ourselves back from things that we want with our negative thoughts and comfort zones.

In 2007 I made the worst choice of having an epidural during my childbirth. I could no longer sleep on my back and had to constantly turn throughout the night because of the discomfort. A few years later in 2012 a tractor trailer side swiped me on the highway causing my back further discomfort and tightness. I needed to somehow get my back to work with me and not against me.

I have heard about endorphin's but I did not really believe that when we naturally release endorphin's that allow our body to block out any pain signals that can be triggered from anxiety, stress, and depression. Our body releases endorphin's when we work out and our pain threshold also increases with physical activity. I was really curious to see if working out could help my back pain so I started off with cardio, moved on to weight lifting, and gradually into Yoga.

Yoga has allowed me to stretch my back and concentrate on core control. Yoga was not something that was super easy in the beginning but it has shown me self discipline. Each pose pushes your body to limits, you have to control your breathing, and your mind has to be on the task at hand. Yoga allows me to bend just as we have to in life and not break.  I was a little hesitant on trying difficult poses because I didn't want to fall. However I learned that if I fall only means that I have to get back up and try again. Just as we do in life we can not stay down for long.

Yoga has pushed me to do things I thought I never could do but wanted too such as doing a simple handstand. I have learned to control by body with my breathing and I have learned to just let go. Yoga not only helped me sleep better, and push my limits but it also helps with digestion considering we are channeling our inner Zen which I avoided doing prior.

So when I get asked why Yoga? What's the point? My response is why not? 

Why not do things that you would never do. Why not try an All Natural holistic way to sooth your mind, body, and soul. Yoga allows me the opportunity to Stop, Drop and Yoga whenever I get the chance and I do not have to worry about getting to the gym. Why not Yoga when it helps me sleep better at night and I am not tossing and turning all night because my back locks up. Yoga has opened me up to focus on the moment, something I struggle to do often.