Standing Alone

Learning to let go. Letting go of all toxic things within your life. Letting go of all the pain, the unhappiness, tears, and old habits. Letting go of friendships that you thought would last a lifetime. Letting go of the comfort zone that swallows up our dreams; leaving you feeling hopeless. Letting go of the fears that hold you back from the unknown.

Perhaps we will wait until we get to that bridge in order to cross it. How can we cross it when we are nowhere near it? Perhaps we have to learn to fully stand on our own two feet before we are able to cross that bridge. What if that bridge can only hold your weight?

Learning to listen before we speak. Sit in silence. Listen to the lesson. The words are being spoken to you for a reason; do not miss the lesson because you’re anxious to speak. Instead of judging others for the way in which they have sinned; I have learned from the sins of others. Not one person has a full grasp on life; so who is anyone to judge. Someone will always have an opinion and they will always have something to say regardless because gossip is something that some thrive for. Let it go.

Fear holds us back from letting go. It is scary to think about taking that leap & not knowing if you are going to fly or fall flat on your face. It is easier to stay within our comfort zone because it is something that we are familiar with. Our comfort zone leads us to feel content. We begin to believe “this is the best it’s going to get” when in reality we do not know what the best is if we have never left our comfort zone and explored the unknown. Perhaps we spend too much time pleasing others that we lose focus of the most important thing; which is ourselves.

It seemed like every time I gained something in life I lost something else that was just as important. I knew that whatever didn’t kill me only made me stronger; however why does obtaining this much strength hurt so damn bad. I look around & I stand all alone. Those whom I have given my whole heart too are gone, those whom stated they will always have my back have faded into the deep fog, where has everyone gone? Various relationships have come & gone; I guess I kind of don’t do well with those sort of things.

Perhaps I expect too much, other times I set myself up. Perhaps I second doubt myself on things when I know I shouldn’t… I try to see the good in all situations, and sometime there’s simply just so much “bad” that it will never allow you to see the “good,” at that point we must allow ourselves to Let it Go.

It’s a crazy sea of emotions, I don’t take losing very lightly regardless of what it is. I would prefer to go hard or go home as my younger brother always embedded in me. He had more of a grasp on the world then I did. He always warned me about friendships, relationship, and just things in general, I was always more reserved and afraid of showing my true colors, because I always got stones thrown at me. Be yourself is what they say, then when you are, they talk about you and batter your ego. Take your stripes and wear them proudly. I spent most my nights lying in bed crying, I spent many other nights asking God why me? I never understood why I felt more pain then joy. I just wanted to give up time and time again what’s the point if no one cares why should I? Well that was the attitude got me lost in my own fog.

Sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order find ourselves again. I began to wipe my own tears, I cheered myself on, patted my own self on the back, and began to love myself. It sounds so cliché; but I never really loved myself I always wanted someone else to do it and got upset when they didn’t fit the role. I wanted voiceless people in my life to cheer for me when it was clearly impossible, I am the loudest person in my life and no one can top me in my own race. I pat myself on the back daily because you know what I don’t need anyone else telling me I did a good job, I know I’m doing a damn good job daily. When I began to love myself things stated to change, when I started believing in myself like my son believes in me things started to fall in place and make more sense.

When we Let Go. We Learn to Stand Alone.