Stop Settling, Start Believing.

I stopped wishing I could do things and I just went out and did it.
I stopped talking about what I wanted to do and I went and did it.

I started thinking of what I could do and I went out and tried it.
I started doing what I wanted to do and stopped settling.

After the pain is the reward but you will not appreciate the reward without the pain and struggle.

Knowing what I wanted go me to where I am. I had to go after what I want everyday and even when I got it I still had to keep going because when you stop you lose focus. You can not get a new life but you can create new scenarios to make it the best one. You can sit and complain or you can get up and "fuck shit up."

Make guarantees to yourself. If you want it go out and get it. Stop letting yourself down.
I did not go out and do it expecting anything from anyone. I wanted to make myself happy.

I let depression and my comfort zone take over and wondered why nothing was changing. I was talking about wanting it but I was not doing anything to get it.

I grew up hating myself. I was working against myself. I was secretly wishing she could fail so "I" could win. The biggest enemy you have to deal with is yourself. You can either love yourself or continue hating and working against yourself.

You have to want it bad enough to do it and never give up. Giving up is easy; so it settling in your comfort zone. That's the place where dreams go to die. Unless you set outside that comfort zone you will not get the results that you want.

I did not do anything special. I just decided to make a change. I didn't need to broadcast it. I did not wait for someone to come around and help me. I did it on my own, without complaining about it. If you believe it you can achieve it.

You have to let go of the past in order to grow.

I lost my brother in 2010 and ultimately lost myself as well. I stopped believing and sulked into the dark and comfortable area. In order to change I had to change my thought process. I had to set my goals and I had to do things that did not feel good. I had to isolate myself and I had to find my purpose.

Find your purpose. Not the purpose that others expect you to be. I found my purpose and ignored the noise and whispers. I was not going to quit on myself as I had done time and time again. The harder you work the harder it is to surrender.

You have to want to take the stairs and not the elevator. When you reach the top they will ask you to stop; they want you to stop. They want you to stop because you are doing something they aren't. No one will know your story but they will judge your outside appearance and say you "had it easy," when truth be told no one has it easy, it just takes hard work and dedication to achieve what and who you want to be.

Romance Yourself

Far too often I hear people wanting others to do for the things that they can not do on their own. 

When we are vulnerable we get to know ourselves. When we are alone we get to soul search. Being alone does not mean you are not worthy of having someone in your life; it simply means you are okay with being alone. People look at lonesomeness as something strange, you should go out and find someone is what I often hear. Why should I go out and find someone when I am still finding myself. In order to understand what you want you have to understand yourself first. 

Do not wait for someone else to do the things that you want to do, when you can do those things for yourself by yourself. No one else is going to appreciate what you want more than you will. 

Romance and Love yourself. Don't settle. Know what you want and go for it. 

I often get judged because my wants are different from someone else's. However I was not placed here to fulfill their wants for myself. I was here to fulfill my own destiny and create my own mistakes. 

Leaving your comfort zone and doing things that you have not done before does not feel good in the beginning. Shaking off the doubt, fear, and self esteem issues all on our own because no one else can do it for you. Make promises to yourself and do not give up on yourself, why would you want to let yourself down when others will do it without hesitation. 

Set your values high enough to value yourself everyday. 

I have learned to make my own self happy. I buy my own flowers because if you want something you have to go out and get it. Do not wait for someone else to do it! I do not need someone else to determine my self worth when they do not know the struggle that I endured to get to where I am.

I do not need someone else to romance me. You can not expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself. 

I have found love in other places. I have found that being alone is soothing. I have found that doing it my way works for me. I have found that believing, loving, and romancing myself is all that I need to keep me striving for my purpose. Many people look for a spouse in order for them to find their purpose; I chose the opposite. We all want different things, stop worrying about someone else's lawn being greener and worry about making your grass the greenest it can be.

You can not make a difference until you make a decision. 

"The struggle is real"

No one likes the word "struggle" but truth be told without the struggle we would not be able to enjoy the success. Being a single mother it feels like everyday is a struggle, but with that struggle comes strength. I spent a long time being afraid of myself because of what other people said or believed about me.  When you spend 100 days not smiling you look forward for the 101'st day when you can smile just because you have made it. Making it doesn't mean you have it all, it simple means you have made it over the struggle of the day; and that enough.

I often get asked "How do I do it. How do I stand tall after the struggle."

We all have choices. We all have the same hours of the day. We all want things. Everyday we have the chance to sink or swim. If you want up everyday with the desire to do better than yesterday things will fall into place because the time, effort, and drive is there. Nothing will land in your lap if you are half-assing anything. You have to fight through the bad days in order to appreciate the good days.

It may seem like everyday is a struggle; seeking the silver lining is the saving grace that will keep you together. We can take the struggle and use that to see the negative in every situation that arises or we can turn the negative into a positive. Despite the struggle, we have a billion and one things to be thankful and look positively at. Beauty and positivity surrounds us but if we sit in the darkness that is all we will see and the beauty will seem like a nuisance. Don't let your feelings and fear get the best of you.

Look around. Take a moment. Be alone. Cry. Yell. Refocus. Comfort and love yourself.

We can not get another life. The one you have is the one you have to grab by the horns and ride. No one else can do the work for you. Never let the struggle break you; let it make you. Its in the darkest times that we learn our biggest lessons. Hold your head up even when a million and one tears are pouring out of those eye because what does not kill you will make you stronger. No one will appreciate the struggle and the process as much as you will. No one will understand why you smile just because and why you do things without expecting something in return. They may not be on the same level as you are, that okay, we all have our own growth spurts. This may not be their season but it may be yours. You can not water their grass and wonder why yours is not striving.

Stop telling people your goals. No one will believe in you as much as you will believe in yourself. Don't let the negative vibes of underachievers deter you from what you want. We are not all here to serve the same purpose. Live the way you want; people will talk regardless of what you are doing.
If you don't like something change it.

I could let all of my struggles bring me down and I could feel sorry for myself or I can fight through the struggle.