Blinders Off

I think I'm going to do things a little different this time around...

I will trade places with you this time and I will cut my loses before I lose the battle I will choose to not enter. I sit here with a smile on my face. Yeah not a smile that you created. The smile I expressed with you was like the one that a clown shares with children. The fake painted red smile in which is not a reflection of how you feel from within. I smile now because I did not allow you to break me nor did you throw off my equilibrium I managed and maintained my well being and was okay with the choice in which I had to make.

I thought I was looking for you but I kinda see I don't want you and it seems like I was on a time limit and I don't like to have restrictions on my love and I didn't expect to shout to the world about the happiness I had with you but I will shout and express how I wasn't looking for you I was looking past you and what I was looking for was actually looking for me ... You might not get that but its okay because as you are attentive to detail its always the silent small details that sometimes get looked over. I turned on my lights and I smile because yeah I guess I learned to shine all alone. Not fearful because I will have my own energy take control of me I do not need you to make me feel hot and bothered. I am comfortable in my own skin I love myself and I make myself hot and bothered. Be upset that you allowed the opportunity of a real friend being by ya side pass ya by. As you were portraying to be a "star" you were actually just putting on that fake red smile. Life is crazy enough I don't want to have to deal with Circus antics on the daily.

Everything happens for a reason and miracles happen every moment of the day sometimes our eyes are closed to them and until we are able to see clearly we are not able to see the trouble times as blessings. I thank you for complimenting my strength. I missed the little talks but not it is over and I will bury it with my past. That night filled with lust is actually lost and my body shakes it off and I will no longer listen to one worked you say. Its not valuable to my time and my schedule is filled with more important things to do...

Even though I may have to bury this that does not mean that I myself am Gone I am still here to continue on the journey of my own life. My life only has room for those who will compliment my abilities and not try and drag me across a bed full of nails. I was already dragged, beaten, left, and lost. I found my path I will not allow anything to bring me back... I may miss the times but i have more to looks forward I have not experienced a lot more than I have and well I rather look forward to the unknown. I have a curious mind and well you once reminded me continuously that the mind is a terrible thing to waste and well guess what.





I'm Educated


and


I am now


Gone Gone Gone....

I wont ask you to wait for me because I'm busy jumping on couches and smiling because I feel as if I am living life and I don't have time to listen to similar stories. Entice me with new things.