Lonesomeness/ Selfishness

Constantly alone, trying to figure out the meaning of life. Unable to find the good when all I see is the evil and the selfishness of others. I find myself steadily crying seeking answers to questions that i have however unable to find the perfect solutions when I have lost hope and I am not sure I believe anymore. How is it that you can be so happy on the outside but on the inside you are breaking down and suffering daily to try and just push through. The strongest person I know is myself however I am not sure if I really believe in myself or if I am putting on a facade in hopes that what I believe in will ultimately come true. Looking around it is hard to determine reality vs fiction. Figuring out the world alone and not sure where to begin to what path to take, Life is about the lessons we learn however when are the good lessons going to come. Constantly finding myself in harder situations. When the world seems to be evil how can you be honest or believe in something greater. It is like regardless of what you do someone is standing there waiting to knock the shit out of you and bring you back to your knees. Goodness I just wait for the day where I can smile and say I am smiling because I am actually happy it is not because I am hiding my pain.

How can we judge one another when no one has got a grasp on life and no one has walked on this world without creating mistakes. What gives someone else the right to belittle and make someone else feel worthless because of their choices when deep down inside you know damn well you have done things that you are also not proud of. Just because someone has not aired out your dirty laundry does not mean that you are entitled to air out someone else's dirty laundry and expose their demons.