Looking in from a far hoping she understands that she can do better. She falls into "his" trap each time mesmerized by the lies enticed by the pain believing that daily tears, heart felt pain, and suffering is what makes Love stronger....Such a believer in Love and yet I sit here puzzled in disbelief "Love doesn't live in my eyes but yet she states she bleeds love" this kinda leaves me pondered....
I look back in and I see her there .....she sits... she takes back another cup as if its nothing... Where are you during this time? Oh yea the same place as always - not by her side.... I miss you suddenly sounds identical to i hate you... Like I said I'm pretty sure you don't care and yet I'm pretty sure shes going to make another mistake. Therefore I will interrupt her this time, and brighten her awareness before things get wild and crazy once again.
I'm able to get her attention* I think you should allow the steam to come off your pores let the tears fall back into your eyes and simply remember when 2 worlds collide things just wont ever be right... why shall you allow yourself to fall backwards as if time will do the same. Will you really continue making the same mistakes? Are we thinking that maybe this time you'll get a better result and not the same one we've received for the past decade? ...when are u going to quit? I think its time to realize -- that dream has been cut short several times and um this time I think its the perfect time for you to spread your wings and allow yourself to do what you've always wanted.....
She cared about you more than anyone would ever know, but than again its a shame sometimes we just don't get "do overs" and for "him" that chance is gone.. This time for her - she will just let the end be the end and move onto bigger and better things....
She walks away to sit down and ponder her thoughts::::
Several thousand unanswered calls.... a decade full of lies.... 2 crushed beaten hearts...This battle of the sexes suddenly has turned into a load full of exes.... and um i think we should not talk about our problems anymore; we wont work things- out admit it! We must allow "my" heart to move on it can no longer can be with "you".... Why should you be able to care for a heart you kicked around for 10 years; {y o u} than shatter it into small crystallized pieces... the pieces were unrecognizable thanks to you...I guess I blame my heart for allowing me to want to love you so much to the point where I know exactly how he felt before he parted ways "I wear my heart, tied to a string. And I drag it around, so everyone see's.. how dirty, it's really been, to me"(JohnWebb)
I'm looking in and I am proud of who she is she now knows that she would like the ongoing brutal battle to be over with. Her face full of tears her heart dragged and beaten yet she still stands proud and now knows her self worth
Pondered & Puzzled but aware she knows and repeats: I wouldn't want us to try and work it out for another decade and continue to fail .... My best friend sorta turned into my worst enemy; its like we went from happy times to multiple times of me finding myself on my knees .... crying wondering when will be the last time .... when will you not hurt me anymore.....She sits on the kitchen floor wondering where she went wrong; deep down knowing she did nothing wrong and "he" just isn't the same person he was when you two were 15. Shes aware.... She understands.... She stands up..... She smiles....
I look in with a smile on my face as she is able to express to him what she has wanted to say shes ready.......
I understand we have both changed but you wont ever understand my pain and this time I don't really care because this time you were gone a little too long and this girl isn't the same girl she use to be you left that girl behind.... she hates the thought that you'll always think its okay to have someone else as if you are some sort of God...She knows that she will no longer allow it.... Learn to Love yourself as I have done my dear.
I cant allow to be beaten and I wont allow myself to break down and cry-
Shes ready to run away smile and know that she is the most beautiful person she knows at this moment and she has managed to gain that all alone ..... while she remained by your side shes was a not so pretty gal....
Is she belligerent or is she just realizing she wants to be straight up with you! Well either way here it goes word from word from the one you loved and cared for so much well .....
I think its cute how you read her some similar poems - I listened to a decade of those, please stop I don't want to read anymore fairy tales, don't sell me anymore dreams I'm broke lifeless and can not afford anymore of those, quit with the happy endings and wishes!
I don't want to love you anymore.
How about you get higher - take that - inhale your lungs feel that burn? Good that's what you deserve - feel that burn- feel that pain?
You might want to gain back your concentration because you didn't hear me say, "I'll be right back but I'm not ...... and I will take a long time...... but wait I will expect you to stay here and wait for me to come back and except me with open arms, as I did for you 1 complete decade ..... how does that sound?....
I know I've made mistakes but yet you made a decade full of promises "You wouldn't hurt me anymore and I would not shed another tear" I think we surpassed those promises and those are just now a string of lies that you are now tangled in and somehow you think your going to be able to get out of that.... the thing is its a Scorpions lethal trap..
Well good luck..
Do you know that she thought about you every step of the way but not you my dear you went full force at life thinking she would always be standing in the same spot you left her and she would remain super ecstatic to see you ....
My eyes begin to get hazy but she knows what she must do ... She has swallowed those tears and she knows that memories are all that she will be allowed to take with her this time....
I am ready to take my bag full of memories on my new journey in life..."You" have proved that I am not what you want or need in life Joyfully i can dance down the yellow brick road I am ready for whatever is at the end of that Rainbow I will sit there with the one person ........
that remained humble loving strong independent and beautiful (myself)
I love myself more than you will ever be able to provide love for...That lonesome path wasn't so bad after all I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel
Life is not easy but we must learn to smile through the pain for those who can not with stand the struggle I will Fight For you I remain *Angelically Motivated*
My Blog is dedicated to the one person that was just wanted to be loved and cared for.... He wanted to be loved, understood, heard, and most importantly excepted.... John Wallace Webb Jr. You have inspired me to include a quote of yours into one of my own personal pieces I am truly blessed to be able to live through you and make your piece one with mine. I admire you for you and will continue to be inspired by you fantastic way to communicate and be who you are through writing... May you Rest in Peace my dear friend.
I'll always remember our last conversation
John Wallace Webb Jr.
I wear my heart, tied to a string. And I drag it around, so everyone see's.. how dirty, it's really been, to me. · January 11, 2011 at 3:11pm ·
Jomy Martinez-- I love love love this... Don't be surprised if its my stat later oOman I love it January 11, 2011 at 3:23pm
John Wallace Webb Jr.-- Thanks. I actually was dreaming and singing that. And when I woke up, I had to write it down. January 11, 2011 at 3:24pm
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