2 years ...

This is one of my own Personal Blogs....I took a different method in Blogging this one I Blog "The Good Times First" and than the "Toughest Time of my life"

((This is dedicated to anyone who has ever lost a sibling or anyone who knows how it feels to lose someone so close to you.))

*REMEMBERING THE GOOD TIMES!

Memories...

Yes I have bunches we shared many laughs, punches, fights, arguements, and tons of good and bad times as all siblings are able to share.

Never once will I ever forget you helping me whenever I needed you, you had a Heart made of Gold and always helped anyone when they needed help. I remember you would lock me out the house when I stood out late on purpose! I would knock on your window and you would help me sneak into the house I would always ask you " Are you going to tell on me?" You would always reply "No as long as you take me out to eat tomorrow." Tomorrow would come and the first thing you would do is tell on me and tell mom how I came in passed my curfew and I snuck in through your window and waked you up when you were the one who helped me lol.

You always had my back and always protected me as if you were my older brother, never letting anyone bad talk me or do me harm.

Fighting over who got to watch tv in the sala (living room) and who didnt get to was one of the biggest fights. Knowing we both had a tv in our own room but yet we always faught for that Tv.

Calling one another names.. Fighting over anything and everything we could.. You would always tell me "Go ahead run to mom tell mom because thats what your gona do you little baby" as I would go tell mom you would laugh.. Now that I look back at it I laugh because we were grown I was 19 and you were 17 and yet we still had these arguements lol...

You were the best uncle in the world when Zay came into our life... Hes going to be just like me you would say and Boy did you mean every word. He acts like you eats like you and hates doing the same things you hated to do. You would offer to babysit him while I went out but the catch was the fridge had to be loaded! Having good times with you as we got older was the best we would sit talk laugh and crack jokes. You would always tell everyone how I ripped your pelicans leg off in a fight we got when we were kids. Mom tried to sew it back but there was no hope for that pelican.. Everyone would laugh and you would say I loved that Pelican lol...

Graduation day was the best day ever you were so happy you finally made it and so was I. You were so excited and happy told me that me and Shavonn had to go shopping with you to get you a fly outfit. We went shopping that week and got you a button up shirt some slacks along with some dress shoes you were said " You know I'm graduating I have to be on my Grown and Sexy!!" I cracked up with Shavonn.

((Shavonn is my best friend of 12 years whom we adopted and made her apart of our family so my brother would always consider her his other sister)) You asked us to make sure we were the loudest ones at your graduation and so that is exactly what we did for you! You were so happy and I was a very proud sister that day!

With the Good comes bad but with everything comes a blessing although losing you breaks my heart and I lost my partner in crime my road dog and my Little big Brother I am trully happy that you are away from harm and in a safer happy place.

*REMEMBERING THE TOUGHEST TIME OF MY LIFE!

Its January 4 of 2012 and yet I can clearly remember everything I did this same week back in January of 2010.


Decemeber 31, 2009 - You called me on New Years Eve at 8:45pm and asked me what was I doing and I told you I was trying not to bust my ass as I walked in heels up the hill to get to Mikeys house in the snow to visit him. You asked me if I was staying there or what my plans were so than I told you I was going back home to stay there. You told me okay becareful and Happy New Years.
*Never in a million years would I have thought that would be the last time we would talk or I would ever hear your voice again.*


 Thursday January 7 of 2010 I was off from work laying in my bed thinking about how I should call you and take you out to eat at Friendlys for dinner (considering that was your fave place) but I was waiting for my show to finish so that I can make the phone call to you. I never got to make that phone call nor did I get a chance to speak to you God needed you before I did and Mom called me to tell me you were in a accident to come to the hospital. My heart told me this isnt good but my mind kept telling me that you pulled another one of your antics and that you probly broke your arm again but yet everything was going to be okay. But it wasnt....... I remember everyones face I remember standing by your side waiting for you to jumpup and tell me Your joking but you didnt. Hiding the pain swallowing my tears and not showing any emotion what so ever was all I could do. I was numb, broken, and in a state of shock but refused to cry infront of you as I never did.