A Single Mama's Vent.

The hardest job in the world is being a single parent. When I was young I seen what my mother went through and I knew being a single parent was something that I did not want to ever do. Well life does not always work that way I learned the hard way. Far too often I hear people say its all about who you choose; well what about when the other person chooses to neglect their responsibility. It amazes me how someone can neglect their parental responsibilities but yet feel the small check they send weekly is suppose to cover everything and make up for their absence. How can you be step dad/mom of the year but yet are the worst biological mom/dad to ever exist. 

I didn't want to ever be a sour "baby mother" but when you can not even meet me a quarter of the way why should I be even the smallest concerned with what happens to you. Why should I care about your life when I am the one who is doing 100% for the child that we both created. I do not care what the circumstances were the fact of the matter is that we both produced a child that is financially dependent on us and you are living life peacefully as I carry the weight of the world on my back. I will never bad mouth you to "our" child however I will never speak positively of your either, I will actually not speak about you at all considering your are absent in my child's life anyhow. There is no point in speaking about things that do no exist. 

I didn't choose this life however I have stepped up to the plate and have clocked in to the job of being a mother, coach, supporter, friend, provider, cook, doctor, and I could go on forever but choose not too. The point is that my job is a 24 hour job that lasts 365 with no time off, sick days, or personal days. You have no personal time when you are a single parent your personal time now involves a little person that still needs your assistance and guidance. My sick days still require me to get up and prepare 3 meals and a few snacks throughout the day even with a congested head or fever. 

I don't ever complain but that doesn't mean that I do not cry myself to sleep at night because I am so overwhelmed. We all have our own situations however when you are alone because your trying your best to be the best damn parent that you can be life becomes a little tough and you do feel isolated and trapped in a world full of responsibility. You feel like you can not really relate or fit in; reality is no one really understands you because what you do can not really be expressed verbally, and physically you wont allow the hard times show so its hard to express what really makes you tired. Its not the kids that make you tired; reality is being responsible is what has you drained, but unless you are there to see it you wont know what its like; it looks a hell of a lot easier looking from the outside in. However from the inside I can not see what it's like to be free, available and carefree for just 5 minutes. 

Don't be so quick to judge. We don't all chose the life we live; sometimes we just chose to do what we need to do in order to make the life we have to live work in our best favor. I didn't go out there and look for a total deadbeat to procreate with. No one goes out there and plans to raise children alone; some are lucky enough to find their companion for life, while others have to step up to the plate and do the best they could on their own. No one is going to do a better job, and we will all do things differently, one method might work and many will fail however negatively judging a situation without the background facts will never help any situation.