My Long Time Job.

Parenting just like anything else in life is a job and if you are not ready to commit for the rest of your life to this job you should not invest the time in diving into the ocean without your proper floatation devices. I haven’t been on this world long enough to know everything and I am aware that we may not have all the answers to everything; however if we work at it long enough we will gain an understanding about it.

At the age of 21 finding out that I was going to be a mom was the biggest punch the stomach I could ever receive however I knew I had to do whatever it took in order to ensure that my child is well taken care of and is a good standing citizen within our community later on in life. I had no idea what to expect and later I realized I will never really know what to expect; it’s all about knowing what will work for you and how you will make what you have work for you. I learned there is no time to cry over spilled milk because there’s bigger messes to clean, and as a single mother who has her child most of the time unless their at school means that I have no time to cry without being asked “what is wrong” and having to explain “it’s nothing.”

 I have grown up in more ways than I can virtually explain, I have matured and learned what Maturity actually means, I have done things I said I would never do, I say things my mother said all the time, I am burned out, stressed, and would love to be carefree – HOWEVER- The choices in which I have made have caused me to be right where I am. I never wanted to hear that because I never wanted to accept that I may have not made some of the best choices at the best times. Although I now understand things differently, these are my choices that I have made and although I may have felt like it wasn’t the right timing God felt that it was the appropriate time and also felt that I needed this in order to become who I am today. Saying it and believing it are two different things, you can say it till your blue in the face and never believe it, therefore you are never really giving it your all. It’s all about how you handle the storm and ride the waves.

Disappointment is something that we all have felt and dealt with on various occasions; we all know it’s something that doesn’t feel good and it’s also something we try our best to avoid. As a child disappointment is something major to them that they do not understand how to really handle the emotions that come with it and they don’t understand why this is even happening. Parents are their children’s Super Hero’s, we take care of them, we protect them from the boogie man, we feed them, tickle them, and yes we have our moments where we are not happy with their actions or behavior; however do you want to disappoint your child intentionally because of your own selfishness?

As a parent we are our children’s first teacher, they want to be just like us and they are interested in whatever we are doing. I remember being a child and my mother always attending the class functions and she was always super involved with our education and what we were doing at all times. When I became a parent I didn’t start volunteering at my son’s school to look like the “Star Mom” however I did it because I understand the true meaning of being an involved parent and being proactive and aware of what my son is doing. The world is a big place for me I couldn’t imagine leaving him to take it on by himself. Sometimes we are too preoccupied with ourselves that we forget about the little people that are depending on us, these little people have needs, desires, wants, and have countless hidden talents they must explore. Embrace your child and encourage them to be themselves. Far too often we are lost trying to figure out who we are and who society expects us to be that we are unfamiliar with who we really are.

Do not put your child down because they are not like you or do not view things as you do. This is a totally different individual and God has called them to do different tasks; we need different splashes of color to make a bright beautiful canvas that will attract other beautiful personalities. Regardless of what you have to do just make you are there for your child or children. If you have more than one child you’re going to have to stretch yourself or gain some Octopus arms to make it happen, but just make sure you don’t leave them disappointed asking “why?” because they don’t understand whatever reason you give them they will only understand that you didn’t make it. Disappointment is the look on their face when you just didn’t come save their world, when you just didn’t see their first home run, or didn’t look up for your phone when they said “mommy look at what I can do.” So preoccupied you didn’t realize that you are already disappointing them and showing them they may not be as important as the task at hand.

It is easy to say we are tired, it is easy to complain about everything, it is harder to actually change what we don’t like. As a child I didn’t like the fact that my “Dad” was the one that never could make it, he was always super busy and unavailable. I always wanted to be daddy’s little girl but things turned out differently and I now see I didn’t really need to be daddy’s little girl because my mom will jump hurtles and run through fire for me. However at the time I was disappointed that my super hero didn’t have the proper super powers to save me. As long as you have that one person you have something to feel great about; but what about those who do not have that. When children are left without a super hero to look up too they are left with disappointment, guilt, a broken heart, and an unclear future. It’s not fair that these children are forced into this cruel world and then left to fend for themselves and make adult decisions.

Field day was today at my son’s school; this is a day where all parents are encouraged to volunteer. I understand that we have work and other adult responsibilities that need to be handled in order to live life. However I am sure that everyone has called out of work for other reasons other then they stated, and I am also sure that schedules and plans have been previously been arranged when something just sort of comes up. So why are you not fitting your child into your schedule. They do notice every time you can’t make it. They remember every excuse you gave them. And soon they won’t depend on you because they know you’re just too busy to make it. Seeing a little boy today act out during the Field Day Activities because their mom was not there just broke my heart. He was crushed to see that his mom said she was going to be there and she was not. What was even more heartbreaking was that the teacher was pretty sure mom was not going to make it because they rarely see or hear from mom. I wanted to take him home with me and give him a chance. It breaks my heart to see the children who will be our future already being set up for failure because as a parent we are too lazy to fully preform the job. Now your child is left to suffer and fend for themselves. When the only person you have gives up on you who do you really have left… My answer in an adult conversation would be you will always have God however that’s a complicated subject for a broken child to understand.

Why not give your child all that you can. Even if you cannot give them the world give them a million and one free kisses hugs and encouraging words, boost their ego and make them feel like they have a million bucks because honestly they won’t know the difference. My son does not have his father in his life and I make sure to make everything as normal as they can be. He does not know what he does not have because he has a lot of people on his side that encourage, love, and motivate him to be as successful as his little heart desires. He will not be like me and I do not want him to be like me because we are not the same person. I encourage him to explore and learn from all experiences. No bias attitudes or opinions here, we do not stereotype and we embrace one another’s differences. Just because someone else’s choices may not appeal to our choices it does not mean that we can attack, point fingers, or shed our negative opinions on. Everyone makes their choices independently and we all know what will suit our life best. Something looking from the outside in has no knowledge of how anything is structured or set up until they are on the inside.

Not every family is the same, nor do we need to be upset about the way our family may have turned out. Family is all about those who you hold close to your heart. Not everyone in this world is to bless to have an actual mother and father; however everyone is blessed with their own loved ones in which should always cheer one another on and encourage one another to be the best that they could be. If parents cannot attend a school function or be a child’s super hero step up and just make yourself someone’s super hero. No one will ever deny or eject a super hero from saving the day. Strive to have more good days and do not focus on much on the bad ones. We cannot change what is already done however we can change what we have not done yet. Help our future children be strong, independent, positive, and give them a boost to strive for me and aim for the stars because nothing in life is impossible.

 The World will try to disappoint our children daily, don’t also strive to break their heart and disappoint them daily unconsciously because of your selfishness. Tune in more and tune the world out less. Your masterpiece is right in front of you. That little person will be a reflection of yourself, you either gave them the tools to succeed or you left them without the proper tools which will ultimately result in a misguided youth that others will consider a problem…. No the problem was the parents. Punish them not these poor little children who just want a chance at life they have no idea what the world is about but it’s exciting to them. They need help and guidance regardless of how grown up they may feel.

At the age of 21 I had no idea that I was officially on duty 24/7 365 days a year and I would not be able to take any days off from parenting. Seven years later I can say that I truly know what it is to be a parent and I understand the demands. You cannot half ass this, well I mean you can but I do not want my child to a burden so therefore I will give him my 100% so that one day he can give his family 100%. A parent’s job is never done daily we are all learning new things and new things are being created. As an adult we still have to guide our adult children in their life. We cannot make choices for others but we can be there to help, two minds are always better than one. Regardless of how much someone says they do not need anyone else they actually do. When your children push away from you, you push your way in again and again. Never leave that child misguided to figure things out on their own. Keep an open mind and find the solution to that problem.

I can only say I am trying my best to be the best Super Hero to my son that I could possibly be. I encourage him to take on the world and not be afraid, you want it go get it. Be Young, Wild, and Free. With a world full of Villains the last thing you want to be is the bad guy with no super powers that’s crushing dreams and egos. If you can’t do anything right in your life try to do everything right in their life because they didn’t ask to be here. They deserve a chance even if your chance is gone; it’s not about you anymore.